As we close out this wild ride of a year, it’s really quite easy to reflect on the negative twists and turns. The ever-strengthening downturns of life from January through December were palpable and make room for 2020 takeaways riddled with chaos and tragedy.  As a human, I FELT that rollercoaster–the grief. the panic. the hopelessness. And as a therapist, I held space for a harrowing spectrum of heartache and suffering. But I think it’s more important to hone in on the lessons that this year has painstakingly gifted us because these are the takeaways that are much more profound.

Here are a few that moved me in undeniable, powerful ways…

2020 takeaway #1: WE ARE RESILIENT CREATURES

When we lose something that we live with each and every day, something that otherwise felt guaranteed–like health, freedom, connection, reality as we know it–we are (we were) forced to see life differently. And when we lost the certainty of these things–and of routine and of safety–we had the option of sitting in denial or in fear and sulk, blame, or even hate–but what I saw most people do was adapt. Adapt so brilliantly and resiliently that it reminded me of how incredibly strong we are as human beings. We were forced to reckon with the idea that life is what you make it, even if life is handing you little to work with, while throwing you challenge after challenge. I saw us make use with what we had right in front of us. I saw us lean into slowing down. I saw us discover the essence of the present and the beauty of the simple things. We turned to our homes, we turned to nature, we turned to ourselves. We can remember the panic, pain, and powerlessness of 2020, but those things were also accompanied by gratitude, mindfulness, creativity, and growth.

2020 TAKEAWAY #2: HUMAN CONNECTION IS POWERFUL

We found other ways to tap into the connection, the meaning, and the joy that we previously cultivated in spaces that felt stripped away from us. With human connection being the most whole-hearted and necessary need to recreate, not only did we find ways to maintain our relationships with loved ones and others, but we nurtured them in powerful ways. It was as though, in our shared hardship, we reached out more often and more meaningfully. To genuinely check in. To have the hard conversations about the worry and the struggle and the helplessness. To listen. To let someone know that you are there. This reemergence of empathy was so beautifully sincere and reminded us that we don’t need a whole lot to feel cared for or loved…it’s much simpler than that.

2020 TAKEAWAY #1: COMPASSION OUTWINS HATE

I saw people bravely confront truths that they’ve either ignored their entire lives or truths they’ve had to adjust to in order to survive; then sacrifice their own comfort, expend their own emotional energy, and even risk their own lives to better understand the complexity of life and to make the world a better place for everyone, and not just themselves. From essential workers, to doctors, to activists, to frontline workers…to people who refused to see the times in black-and-white and were able to accept that things can be bad and good at the exact same time. To people who put aside their pride and asked themselves, how can we be better? How can I be better? Yes, we can list the acts of hate that terrorized this year, but overflowing communities of selflessness, courage, and justice are the unforgettable symbols of hope that stand out for me.